Q: dirty confession: i'm a teacher and my ex had a teacher fantasy so i'd talk math formulas before we did the do and after a while I was curious so i said the quadratic formula in public and he automatically got a boner and we broke up because i thought it was really funny and wouldn't stop doing it

necromorph-slayinglovemachine:

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST


asked by Anonymous

40,117 notes

123jaclyn321:

zurashisu:

madman-in-a-blue-box-at-221b:

thediamondthatlived:

madman-in-a-blue-box-at-221b:

what do you call a snobbish criminal going down the stairs?

I don’t know. What?

a condescending con descending.

get out

That was beautiful

(via satansrealblog)

250,013 notes

ghost-anus:

If your boyfriend tells you to lose weight, you should absolutely do as he says. Drop 150 pounds instantly by dumping his stupid ass and then go eat a pizza like the beautiful bitch you are

(via satansrealblog)

395,360 notes

tacobelligerent:

tacobelligerent:

I STEPPED ON A FUCKING LEAF AND AT THE SAME TIME SOME KID SCREAMED I THOUGHT IT WAS THE FUCKIN LEAF OMG

why do we always have to reblog my mistakes

(via satansrealblog)

131,515 notes

princess-neville:

making fun of girls for having “daddy issues” is literally the most illogically cruel thing i can think of haha “hey you! your dad sucked! i bet that really impacted your life and the way you form relationships with other people lmfao fuckin loser” 

(via superbras)

157,197 notes

imaginethedarkerside:

dunflower:

u know someone is having a rough day when their favorite song plays and they don’t sing along

No one will understand how much this just broke my heart.

(via wakingupwithwildhair)

315,103 notes
Q: You two are not fit for raising a child. I feel bad for your kid.

kamie-malik777:

allteensrelate:

parkingstrange:

I mean she may only be 7 months old but so far she hasn’t sent anyone anon hate so I think we’re doing better job than your parents did, just saying.

that was brutal

Damn


asked by Anonymous

90,599 notes

pissfreak:

glad that tumblr has started putting random ppls posts on my dashboard, love it, thanks for this exciting new feature, definitely want to see posts from people i dont follow, thats why i didnt follow them

(via parkingstrange)

272,318 notes

wykwity:

corphlsh:

kitten360:

im serious. its 2014. dont bring back façade

image

I CANT. BREEAAATTHHEE

(Source: procyo, via wakingupwithwildhair)

21,653 notes